Monday, July 17, 2006

I am rock, I am an island

In the last little while, there has been a lot of change going on around me. Some of my closest and dearest anchor type friends (Nick, Ryan) have set off on new adventures. My dearest best friend is launching into a new life (SO exciting). One of my closest girl friends has a new boy, and she's not around as much. I no longer have a place to call my own because I have yet to find an apartment that isn't overpriced and crappy. Other people are thinking of moving, changing, evolving.

And I feel like a rock that isn't rolling.

I'm consistantly finding myself discouraged and encouraged all the time. I just keep going back on forth when it comes to accepting change and everything that is going on around me. I wanted things to move forward so badly, and now I just have to wait for things to fall into place and it's hard to be patient.

And I feel lonely. Like an island. Except not an island in the stream. An island that's just there. Loosing little bits of sand with every wave as if my outer foundations are slipping away from me.

At least the cross in the middle is still standing firm. Too bad I've just been sitting in it's shadow lately, staring at my toes. Maybe it's time to get to work.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Change is good. Being alone is good. I dunno...I've had both and I've fought it lots, but...both of these things are good, I think.

Roshan Grossman said...

Hey! I'm still here!!! Yes, more on the DL, but still around :)

Don't sweat the apartment...don't sweat the standing still...there is a time for everything and His plan is greater than even that.

Love you lots.