Just friends

"The friend zone", "we're just friends", "c'mon it's not like that, we're like brother and sister"...and so on. How many of us have been caught in that sort of situation when you're really rather be in another category? I know I've been there. I've been there to the point of going back and forth in the like/not like sense with a friend so many times that I've damned near ruined a great friendship. I've also been in the "just a friend" category with one to many men it seems. Ha! In fact, in High School, I end up being the girl that every guy I liked seemed to come to for advice about the girl he liked! Argh! No one likes being that position.

What do you do about it? Do you settle? If for some reason you can get past the romantic feelings you have for someone can you still be their friend? And when and if you get to a point where that isn't an option anymore, what do you do?

This is something I wonder about - the fine lines between friendship and romance and between infatuation and love. Surprise, surprise, I don't have all the answers. But it gets you thinking. What do you do for love? What do you do for friendship?

Maybe it just boils down to trust and vulnerability. In this "non-committal" world, maybe it's better to take a stance or even to just throw something at the wall and hope it sticks. Isn't that what it's about? You've got to put yourself out there, and just keep the faith that when it really matters the one you love will love you back.

But it doesn't always work that way. You might not always get that feeling in your gut that says "This is IT!" Maybe you'll just end up with a long lingering feeling that there is potential for more between you and a friend. Are you willing to risk everything for that potential, and what if that doesn't work out? Can you go back to being friends?

Well, at least on that I have an opinion. I believe there is always that potential. After all, I've managed to stay friends with at least 2 ex-boyfriends and numerous ex-almost-boyfriends...It just takes time, and understanding...maybe a good cry, pint of ice cream or in a worse case scenario a few days being plain bitchy (sorry Seaners). I'm so blessed to still have these friends because these are people I truly value. Of course, it does help if you've got a solid friendship/acquaintance to stand on before you start messing with it.

It's weird though, lately I've found myself toying with the other side of the coin. As hard as it may be, you may hit the wall and give into the fact that it may not be possible to remain friends, especially if you're always looking for something more. (This goes for both ex and crush situations as well). It comes down to realizing you just might have to surrender the friendship because you don't know how to love that person in an unselfish way. And that's not a fair or fun place to be in for either party. It's a tough thing to face, especially for one like me who has a hard time letting go of things in general (stupid perfectionist/stubborn streak). I don't like giving up without a fight. It's just humbling to realize that giving over something so important to you just might mean you're about to start one of the biggest fights/struggles of your life - one you may never get to give up on. Sometimes the willingness to take up the fight might just be enough.

Again, it's a fine line. One I'm going to keep walking until I land on the right side.