Friday, March 31, 2006
Got any water?
I feel like I need to swallow my foot.
Crap.
I said something today, mostly out of a selfish need for reassurance, and I'm not really sure that I did the right thing. I mean, yes, if there is something bothering you do something about it, but just be careful and sensitive about it...
And today, I just might not have been.
Crap.
Crap.
I said something today, mostly out of a selfish need for reassurance, and I'm not really sure that I did the right thing. I mean, yes, if there is something bothering you do something about it, but just be careful and sensitive about it...
And today, I just might not have been.
Crap.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Morgan Spurlock was right - UPDATED
Revised Title: Morgan Spurlock was right about McDonalds feeling icky*
I did it. I ate some McDonald's tonight, for no good reason other that I felt like a little bit of greasy food and there it was...Now I feel like it's all just sitting there. I don't feel ill, just lathargic...but that may also have to do with the fact that I only slept 4 hours last night and have been awake since 4:45 am...
Blarg.
* updated in light of fact that Morgan Spurlock has recently made some politically incorrect statements in from of teens when visiting a school, therefore he is not right about everything. :)
I did it. I ate some McDonald's tonight, for no good reason other that I felt like a little bit of greasy food and there it was...Now I feel like it's all just sitting there. I don't feel ill, just lathargic...but that may also have to do with the fact that I only slept 4 hours last night and have been awake since 4:45 am...
Blarg.
* updated in light of fact that Morgan Spurlock has recently made some politically incorrect statements in from of teens when visiting a school, therefore he is not right about everything. :)
The Peevery style peeves
Here is my attempt a Peevish style posting:
filed under Health/Beauty, Poop Etiquette
Excuses, excuses...
I'm finding myself slowly loosing my patience with a lame group member. If you're signed on to a commitment, just do it. You're making the rest of us look like schmucks because you don't show up. It shouldn't be a matter of giving half-assed "I'm sorry...blah...blah...blah..." reasons for not showing up week after week. Show up or leave the group, it's a simple choice. If you put half as much commitment into coming as you do into making excuses it would be a significant improvement.
filed under People, Biggest Peeve Ever
A uterus is a private thing
Coworker, I do not want to be subjected to your loud calls of "Gross! I can't wait to get pregant so I won't have this anymore!" while you are in the stall. Not everyone wants to know it's that time of the month for you. It is especially disconcerting when these statements are punctuated by sounds of you opening a feminine product loud enough for the entire bathroom to hear you. Girls bleed, suck it up. It's a good thing you can have children, remember?filed under Health/Beauty, Poop Etiquette
Excuses, excuses...
I'm finding myself slowly loosing my patience with a lame group member. If you're signed on to a commitment, just do it. You're making the rest of us look like schmucks because you don't show up. It shouldn't be a matter of giving half-assed "I'm sorry...blah...blah...blah..." reasons for not showing up week after week. Show up or leave the group, it's a simple choice. If you put half as much commitment into coming as you do into making excuses it would be a significant improvement.
filed under People, Biggest Peeve Ever
Monday, March 27, 2006
Confessions of a shoe snob
Today I walked into work, and in my regular pre-shift check in with my pal Ryan, we had a little chat about his shoes and whether or not they work out well with his outfit. Interestingly enough, this type of conversation is not foreign to my chats with Ryan. After it was all over, I kinda smiled to myself, and realized just how these types of conversations got started. It was all because of my confession - (insert dramatic pause here) - Friends, I am a shoe snob - (insert gasp here).
Yes, yes, it's harsh I know, but I have been guilty of judging a person's outfit, nay, whole exterior based on their shoes. I don't know why that is, but I do it. If anyone ever says "Don't worry, nobody's going to look at your shoes!", worry because I will be that person. Really.
You may be wondering what makes a terrible shoe/outfit combination? Well, there's broad range of shoe fashion crimes that are commited daily ranging from slight misdemeanors to the really heinous. Most often, people are simply guilty of wearing shoes that do not match their outfit. (Even I am guilty of this at times - running out quickly to the store and grabbing the first pair of shoes...) In other words, it's simply a matter of unbalance. For instance, wearing a nice business suit to a dance and wearing a pair of running shoes. Not good. But yet, this does differ from sporting Chuck Taylor's with a vintage suit, which is of course acceptable because the styles are the same! One must be conscientious of the feel of the outfit and
manage to find footwear that fits in.
Other crimes include wearing shoes until they are practically falling off your feet. It's not pretty folks. They may be your favs, but if so, please keep them to minimal use. It can make the outfit look unfinished. Well, and sometimes you just have to admit they're dead. Yes, lay down those dogs and let them lie. Another crime is not realizing that your shoe choice is just plain...well, outdated.
I mean, retro is retro, and old is just old. It's a fine line and sometimes is not so obvious, but part of you has to be ready to admit that what was cool in 1990, say neon coloured jelly shoes. might not fly today unless you of course have a really, really good outfit to go with them (see above). And sometimes things get heinous, well, because, there really isn't anything any else to call it. Though, I guess I'm trying to border on not being too critical. But alas, there will always be things you'll never wear, right? For instance, the dead cows pictured here.
Anyway, enough from this snob. Make you own decisions everyone. And be true to your own choices! In the end, my opinion won't matter.
Oh, and props to www.badshoe.com for helping me find such great pictures. Seriously, a fun site, check it out.
Go on, step out in style.
Yes, yes, it's harsh I know, but I have been guilty of judging a person's outfit, nay, whole exterior based on their shoes. I don't know why that is, but I do it. If anyone ever says "Don't worry, nobody's going to look at your shoes!", worry because I will be that person. Really.
You may be wondering what makes a terrible shoe/outfit combination? Well, there's broad range of shoe fashion crimes that are commited daily ranging from slight misdemeanors to the really heinous. Most often, people are simply guilty of wearing shoes that do not match their outfit. (Even I am guilty of this at times - running out quickly to the store and grabbing the first pair of shoes...) In other words, it's simply a matter of unbalance. For instance, wearing a nice business suit to a dance and wearing a pair of running shoes. Not good. But yet, this does differ from sporting Chuck Taylor's with a vintage suit, which is of course acceptable because the styles are the same! One must be conscientious of the feel of the outfit and
manage to find footwear that fits in.Other crimes include wearing shoes until they are practically falling off your feet. It's not pretty folks. They may be your favs, but if so, please keep them to minimal use. It can make the outfit look unfinished. Well, and sometimes you just have to admit they're dead. Yes, lay down those dogs and let them lie. Another crime is not realizing that your shoe choice is just plain...well, outdated.
I mean, retro is retro, and old is just old. It's a fine line and sometimes is not so obvious, but part of you has to be ready to admit that what was cool in 1990, say neon coloured jelly shoes. might not fly today unless you of course have a really, really good outfit to go with them (see above). And sometimes things get heinous, well, because, there really isn't anything any else to call it. Though, I guess I'm trying to border on not being too critical. But alas, there will always be things you'll never wear, right? For instance, the dead cows pictured here.
Anyway, enough from this snob. Make you own decisions everyone. And be true to your own choices! In the end, my opinion won't matter.
Oh, and props to www.badshoe.com for helping me find such great pictures. Seriously, a fun site, check it out.
Go on, step out in style.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Learning the glory of widgets
So, I'm clearly converting over in a really crazy way. Today I spend a good solid 45 minutes browsing widget downloads and I managed to find one that SCREAMS me. Yep, it's a little box that spits out quotes from 80's movies in a weird robot-like voice. It's great. I actually squealed when I found it. So far I've been given quotes from Sixteen Candles, Pee-Wee Great Adventure and Mannequin. Seriously, could this be any more my style? hehehehe.
I am loving this.
Shout out to Jen G for the love of widgets.
I am loving this.
Shout out to Jen G for the love of widgets.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Can USB any more annoying?
So, I've taken the time to set up the new printer. The ink is in, the paper is set. It's ready to go, I've got everything in the box. But what the crap? I need a USB cable to connect it to my computer. Sure, that's fine, but where, where I say is it written on the box that I need this cable? I mean, had I known, wouldn't I have bought it along with the computer and printer puchase.
This is balls.
This is balls.
Discombobulated
Hmm...Today, I feel a little off my game. I slept in, I cleaned house, cleaned my room, watched a movie, and just was.
But I feel just a little off my game.
It's hard to say why, I mean, really, there isn't anything wrong. In fact for the last couple of weeks I've been in a really good place. I guess maybe I'm just seeing the reality of the situation. With change comes change. Funny that.
I'm not scared of it all though, I mean, the change. Well, I guess it's hard to be scared because I don't know exactly what is going to happen, but you know, it's ok, things are gonna shift, and this time I think it's going to be a peaceful (though not easy) journey.
I'll keep you posted.
But I feel just a little off my game.
It's hard to say why, I mean, really, there isn't anything wrong. In fact for the last couple of weeks I've been in a really good place. I guess maybe I'm just seeing the reality of the situation. With change comes change. Funny that.
I'm not scared of it all though, I mean, the change. Well, I guess it's hard to be scared because I don't know exactly what is going to happen, but you know, it's ok, things are gonna shift, and this time I think it's going to be a peaceful (though not easy) journey.
I'll keep you posted.
Friday, March 24, 2006
My fours
I've been tagged via email, and well, I don't want to do a forward, so here is some information about me:
Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Usher
2. Children's Nanny
3. Camp Counselor
4. Retail Associate a.k.a. Sales Babe (it's more glam than the former title)
Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Spaceballs
2. Bridget Jones' Diary
3. Best In Show
4. Spinal Tap
Four places I have lived:
1. Wabush, NL
2. Kingston, ON
3. Kitchener, ON
4. Toronto, ON
Four tv shows I love to watch:
1. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
2. Gilmore Girls
3. Miami Ink
4. Mythbusters
Four places I have been on Vacation:
1. Cape Town, SA
2. Bay of Fundy, NB
3. Tour of Europe - Contiki European Panorama - 12 countries, 28 days
4. New York City, NY
Four websites I vist daily:
1. Gmail
2. Blogger.com/My Blog
3. F-Net
4. Apple.ca (at least lately)
Four of my favorite foods:
1. My mother's roast lamb
2. Steak
3. Cool Ranch Doritos
4. Stir-fry
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Cape Town, SA
2. Paris, France
3. Anywhere in Australia
4. Sitting in a cafe on Queen W, reading
Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Usher
2. Children's Nanny
3. Camp Counselor
4. Retail Associate a.k.a. Sales Babe (it's more glam than the former title)
Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Spaceballs
2. Bridget Jones' Diary
3. Best In Show
4. Spinal Tap
Four places I have lived:
1. Wabush, NL
2. Kingston, ON
3. Kitchener, ON
4. Toronto, ON
Four tv shows I love to watch:
1. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
2. Gilmore Girls
3. Miami Ink
4. Mythbusters
Four places I have been on Vacation:
1. Cape Town, SA
2. Bay of Fundy, NB
3. Tour of Europe - Contiki European Panorama - 12 countries, 28 days
4. New York City, NY
Four websites I vist daily:
1. Gmail
2. Blogger.com/My Blog
3. F-Net
4. Apple.ca (at least lately)
Four of my favorite foods:
1. My mother's roast lamb
2. Steak
3. Cool Ranch Doritos
4. Stir-fry
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Cape Town, SA
2. Paris, France
3. Anywhere in Australia
4. Sitting in a cafe on Queen W, reading
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
First post from a new computer
It's here. I'm on my new computer and it's absolutely lovely, friends, really. I'm in love.
Joining the ranks
Ok, Tuffy, this post is for you.I've done it. Yep, I have officially just become a member officially for the first time. I am now a member of the Ben Folds Fan Club, and I don't feel ashamed at all. It's worth it! Not only is he a great artist, and so awesome in concert, there are some added perks of being a part of the club, that my friend Tiffany has gladly pointed out to me.
You see, recently she took advantage of the pre-sale ticket offers that you get as a fan club member, and scored seats to see Ben in Ann Arbour, MI. She informs me that she was close enough to see the sweat on his brow! (Actually, she said the spit from his mouth, but figured that sweat was slightly more attractive sounding). I can't wait to get my new member package - hehehe.
BEN FOLDS ROCKS.
I'm just sayin'.
Monday, March 20, 2006
It's gonna be a short night of sleep!
Well, I managed to get a much needed shift change so I can go to LR tomorrow night, which is really sweet - I'm glad I can even host tomorrow night, but the kicker is that the shift I ended up getting as 7am - 3pm! Talk about going from extremes! I'm going to be taking the bus at 5:30 am, and seeing as I'm working until 8 tonight, I wonder if I just shouldn't sleep here! Ha!
At least it'll remind me of the good old flight attendant days...There's nothing quite like taking the "vomit comet" to the airport at 3 in the morning...
At least it'll remind me of the good old flight attendant days...There's nothing quite like taking the "vomit comet" to the airport at 3 in the morning...
Saturday, March 18, 2006
A little slow on the uptake
Ok, so I'll admit it, I'm a curling fan. It's one of my all-time favourite things to watch in the winter olympics, but alas this year, I didn't get to watch nearly as much of the goings on in Torino as I would have liked. And this remains my excuse for being so slow on the uptake...
You see, I knew that the Canadian onlympic men's team was from Newfoundland, and yes, having grown up there knowing quite a few great curlers from Labrador City, I was very proud. But was I wasn't was "in" on the fact that, well, being proud of Labrador City curlers and the Olympic teams meant I should be doing one and the same. Yes, if you can believe it, about a month too late, I came home to Kitchener and walked into my Mom asking me "Hey, didn't you used to play with Mike Adams? And don't you know Mark Nichols?" And I was like, "Yeah, why?" Well, as it turns out Mark played in the gold-winning game and Mike was an alternate. Holy crap! Talk about amazing. I'm so much more proud now! I know Olympic athletes - and I grew up with them in the middle of nowhere in Labrador! Imagine that!
Here is a link to a pic of the team - Mike Adam, with whom I played many an hour of hide-and-seek with is on the far left, and Mark Nichols, with whom I shared a school and acted in plays with his sister is second from the right.
You see, I knew that the Canadian onlympic men's team was from Newfoundland, and yes, having grown up there knowing quite a few great curlers from Labrador City, I was very proud. But was I wasn't was "in" on the fact that, well, being proud of Labrador City curlers and the Olympic teams meant I should be doing one and the same. Yes, if you can believe it, about a month too late, I came home to Kitchener and walked into my Mom asking me "Hey, didn't you used to play with Mike Adams? And don't you know Mark Nichols?" And I was like, "Yeah, why?" Well, as it turns out Mark played in the gold-winning game and Mike was an alternate. Holy crap! Talk about amazing. I'm so much more proud now! I know Olympic athletes - and I grew up with them in the middle of nowhere in Labrador! Imagine that!
Here is a link to a pic of the team - Mike Adam, with whom I played many an hour of hide-and-seek with is on the far left, and Mark Nichols, with whom I shared a school and acted in plays with his sister is second from the right.
The anticipation is killing me
Ok, so, I'm dying here - my new lovely computer has been delayed in shipping. The new estimated shipping date is this coming Monday, and I'm fraught with anticipation. I just keep thinking - just make it through the weekend...you can do it. I swear, if it's delayed again I'll cry. My current computer is killing me. I can't do anything on it that doesn't take about 20 minutes. I mean, I can turn it on, toast my bagel in the morning, and still come back before it's done loading up Gmail. It hurts so bad. I can't wait to be working on my new superfast, superwicked machine! Just another couple of days...
Thursday, March 16, 2006
A bad hair day
Today, my bangs are driving me crazy. I woke up early this morning to go for breakfast with my good friend Coatesy. I knew we were on a time constraint, I was ready to go early enough, but just as I was getting ready to go it struck. You've got it - a bad hair day. I looked in the mirror and thought, there is no way I am leaving the house looking like this. So I tried to do a quick fix, but still the bangs are just not good enough today. I can't handle it. Grr. They are officially driving me crazy. Good thing tomorrow is another day.
Monday, March 13, 2006
I'm free!!!
Ok, so there was one more AMAZING thing that happen this weekend, and well, I believe that it deserves it's very own post...
A little while ago, I wrote on my blog, and I wrote about a sense of anxiety because I knew something was going to happen, and I didn't know what. Well, now I know what it is, and all I can say is "HECK YAH! AMEN TO THAT! WOOHOO!"
You see, as the circumstances of this past week unfolded, I've had several indepth conversations with my friend Jay that got me thinking about a few things. One particular struggle came to the forefront, something I've been wrestling with for about about a year now. It relates to some mixed emotions about some events that happen in my life that I had a hard time letting go of. (I know this is very cryptic, but I'm not airing the dirty laundry in public). Since then I've had to struggle with some major feelings of hurt and confusion. In our talks this week, Jason convicted me to take a stand - if I was trying to deny what I had to do to I needed to just face it and commit to a decision. Wow.
For so long, I've been pushing this issue around in my brain, and well, it's really done more harm than good. I've been reluctant to confront my true feelings, partly out of fear and partly out of guilt. Really, the whole thing cut me so deep, my gut reaction was just to not think about it. And in not thinking about it it seeped into the very core of my being and was eating away at part of my heart. The burden just weighed there.
It's a good thing God's got a nice sense of humour, and He doesn't really hurtful things lie forever. You see, this past Sunday, I got a call from someone, someone directly related to the above confusion. It was amusing because it happened "out-of-the-blue" and conveniently in the same week as Jay's pointed statements - insert pause here and upward look to say "Tricky, very tricky!" I agreed to meet with this someone, and it was good and it was fine, and there was no pain at all, and there was no confusion at all, and I came home and I paused. And I looked up again, and I was overwhelmed with a sense of peace and freedom.
I'm free. I free of this stronghold on my life. I am free of the burden's caused and it is no longer mine to bear. I'm free of all the senseless months of pain and anguish and confusion. I have a clear head again and I'm free!
HALLELUJAH!
A little while ago, I wrote on my blog, and I wrote about a sense of anxiety because I knew something was going to happen, and I didn't know what. Well, now I know what it is, and all I can say is "HECK YAH! AMEN TO THAT! WOOHOO!"
You see, as the circumstances of this past week unfolded, I've had several indepth conversations with my friend Jay that got me thinking about a few things. One particular struggle came to the forefront, something I've been wrestling with for about about a year now. It relates to some mixed emotions about some events that happen in my life that I had a hard time letting go of. (I know this is very cryptic, but I'm not airing the dirty laundry in public). Since then I've had to struggle with some major feelings of hurt and confusion. In our talks this week, Jason convicted me to take a stand - if I was trying to deny what I had to do to I needed to just face it and commit to a decision. Wow.
For so long, I've been pushing this issue around in my brain, and well, it's really done more harm than good. I've been reluctant to confront my true feelings, partly out of fear and partly out of guilt. Really, the whole thing cut me so deep, my gut reaction was just to not think about it. And in not thinking about it it seeped into the very core of my being and was eating away at part of my heart. The burden just weighed there.
It's a good thing God's got a nice sense of humour, and He doesn't really hurtful things lie forever. You see, this past Sunday, I got a call from someone, someone directly related to the above confusion. It was amusing because it happened "out-of-the-blue" and conveniently in the same week as Jay's pointed statements - insert pause here and upward look to say "Tricky, very tricky!" I agreed to meet with this someone, and it was good and it was fine, and there was no pain at all, and there was no confusion at all, and I came home and I paused. And I looked up again, and I was overwhelmed with a sense of peace and freedom.
I'm free. I free of this stronghold on my life. I am free of the burden's caused and it is no longer mine to bear. I'm free of all the senseless months of pain and anguish and confusion. I have a clear head again and I'm free!
HALLELUJAH!
Spring is in the air
This weekend has a distinct spring-time theme to it. It's nice to be slowly moving into new weather and such. And this past weekend was just full of reminders that spring is on the way. Plus, overall, it was just a damn good time.
Friday night, my friend Roshan and I went to the "Spring Fling" for work and got to dance up a storm. It was a lot of fun to spend some time with people from the call centre outside of a work context. Me, being a slightly mischievous girl, enjoyed every minute of trying to make those who would not normally dance get up on the dance floor. It was fun. Really.
It also really helped the weather was gorgeous both Saturday and Sunday. I actually broke out my bike and took off riding, which was such a lovely treat, seeing as I just adored having a bike this summer. I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I do, and seriously, it made me a little giddy to be able to take off and ride again. Wahoo!
Then Saturday night I traveled to Pickering to celebrate my friend Tiffany's birthday. (As a side note, she's running a marathon and is raising money for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, sponsor her at Run Tuffy Run. Oh, and Tuffy, did I tell you my aunt died of Non-Hodgekins Lymphoma, YOU ROCK especially hard now, I didn't realize you were running for them!). It was a blast. We had a pink drink theme - Cosmos and Zinfandel - and tons of good eats. Ok, seriously, I'm still salivating over this amazing apple/caramel dish. Mmm...And there was also tons of good conversation. I got to catch up with some amazing Queen's people who I haven't seen in a long while, and even meet some new people. I mean, you can't go wrong celebrating the birthday of an amazing girl, and it doesn't hurt to have a great time doing it!
Another highlight of the day was spending some time having a good heart to heart conversation with my friend Kate. She is also an amazing girl. I've know her for such a long time it seems (we met in first year at Queen's) and have seen each other through quite a few turns since then. Really, she's someone I fully esteem because she is just a great person. It was so nice to connect with her and spend some quality time gabbing about life. Then, to top it off, I had yet another great conversation with Jay later on about life and about inspiration. Good kid, that Jay. Kinda just put the challenge in the simplest terms. And he's living his dream. I'm so proud of him.
It was a good weekend.
Friday night, my friend Roshan and I went to the "Spring Fling" for work and got to dance up a storm. It was a lot of fun to spend some time with people from the call centre outside of a work context. Me, being a slightly mischievous girl, enjoyed every minute of trying to make those who would not normally dance get up on the dance floor. It was fun. Really.
It also really helped the weather was gorgeous both Saturday and Sunday. I actually broke out my bike and took off riding, which was such a lovely treat, seeing as I just adored having a bike this summer. I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I do, and seriously, it made me a little giddy to be able to take off and ride again. Wahoo!
Then Saturday night I traveled to Pickering to celebrate my friend Tiffany's birthday. (As a side note, she's running a marathon and is raising money for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, sponsor her at Run Tuffy Run. Oh, and Tuffy, did I tell you my aunt died of Non-Hodgekins Lymphoma, YOU ROCK especially hard now, I didn't realize you were running for them!). It was a blast. We had a pink drink theme - Cosmos and Zinfandel - and tons of good eats. Ok, seriously, I'm still salivating over this amazing apple/caramel dish. Mmm...And there was also tons of good conversation. I got to catch up with some amazing Queen's people who I haven't seen in a long while, and even meet some new people. I mean, you can't go wrong celebrating the birthday of an amazing girl, and it doesn't hurt to have a great time doing it!
Another highlight of the day was spending some time having a good heart to heart conversation with my friend Kate. She is also an amazing girl. I've know her for such a long time it seems (we met in first year at Queen's) and have seen each other through quite a few turns since then. Really, she's someone I fully esteem because she is just a great person. It was so nice to connect with her and spend some quality time gabbing about life. Then, to top it off, I had yet another great conversation with Jay later on about life and about inspiration. Good kid, that Jay. Kinda just put the challenge in the simplest terms. And he's living his dream. I'm so proud of him.
It was a good weekend.
Friday, March 10, 2006
A little bundle of joy
So, folks, it's here. It's finally here. I now have my lovely sleek Ipod. I own an Ipod. It's in my hands (well, not literally because 1. I'm at work and it's at home and 2. I'm typing). It's pretty, and it's got my name on it. Just a few more days and I'll be able to use it! (I've got to wait for my new computer because my old one can't handle the Itunes stuff). I can't wait! Wahoo!Sometimes, I find it is ok to be materialistic.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
A post just for Ryan
So, frustration lies here. I am currently awaiting my very lovely computer to be shipped to me. Yes, I said it would be mine, and it will be....I just have to wait for the shipping. Herein lies the frustration. My house does not have a buzzer or a doorbell on it's front gate, so I've been trying to leave messages for the couriers all week so that I can get my stuff delivered without having to go so far out of my way to get the darn things, especially when I don't have a car! Adding to the frustration is the fact that my Ipod and my printer are being shipped separately with different companies! Argh! I don't even know if I've been left a note with a pick-up location for the one either. This sucks. I know they are just doing their job, but still. This sucks. I just want to have my new toys.
Sigh.
Sigh.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Time to step up? (Edited)
Just to note - I wrote this post twice apparently- I thought I had lost the first post. I have included both versions here now as I feel they both kinda mix to show what I'm thinking...
Version 1:
Today, I don't find myself feeling any better. I am spiritually and emotionally drained. And what's more, is that last night I started feeling antsy, which in my last year of spiritual growth (translate ass-kicking at times) usually means that something is about to happen. Now, I have yet to be able to discern in advance if this means something good or something bad will happen, but something will happen. And it's tough, because I am just feeling so tired, and I want to cling so closely to the Lord because I know He will be my source of clarity, but at the same time, I'm tired, I don't know if I can step forward and do what He wants me to do. Sigh.
I guess we'll just breathe, take a moment, pray a little, and then step out in faith. I can at least take comfort in knowing, no matter how hard it may be, I'm always taken care off. Amen to that.
Version 2:
Today is another day, and I'm still feeling slight emotionally and spiritually drained. At least it's getting a little better as the day goes on, but still, I'm just not feeling 100% today. What's more is that last night and this morning I was feeling restless, which generally means that I am about to experience something...at least, that's what it's meant over this last year of spiritual growth (translate ass-kicking). So, yeah, looks as if the "Big G" is trying to share something with me, it's just rough that I'm not able to discern what that is just yet. Grr. I know I've gotta stay true, and patient and faithful, but I sometimes hard to be brave when I don't know what to expect. Something is going to shift. I just don't know if I'm ready for it.
Plus, it's not easy to grow in the Lord sometimes. It's really not. It's great when it happens, but it definitely takes a lot out of you. It's hard to take a long solid inward look and say "This is crap, I need this out of my life. Jesus, fix the holes!" because it means sifting through painful thoughts and facing the darkness in order to become victorious over it.
Baby steps.
Version 1:
Today, I don't find myself feeling any better. I am spiritually and emotionally drained. And what's more, is that last night I started feeling antsy, which in my last year of spiritual growth (translate ass-kicking at times) usually means that something is about to happen. Now, I have yet to be able to discern in advance if this means something good or something bad will happen, but something will happen. And it's tough, because I am just feeling so tired, and I want to cling so closely to the Lord because I know He will be my source of clarity, but at the same time, I'm tired, I don't know if I can step forward and do what He wants me to do. Sigh.
I guess we'll just breathe, take a moment, pray a little, and then step out in faith. I can at least take comfort in knowing, no matter how hard it may be, I'm always taken care off. Amen to that.
Version 2:
Today is another day, and I'm still feeling slight emotionally and spiritually drained. At least it's getting a little better as the day goes on, but still, I'm just not feeling 100% today. What's more is that last night and this morning I was feeling restless, which generally means that I am about to experience something...at least, that's what it's meant over this last year of spiritual growth (translate ass-kicking). So, yeah, looks as if the "Big G" is trying to share something with me, it's just rough that I'm not able to discern what that is just yet. Grr. I know I've gotta stay true, and patient and faithful, but I sometimes hard to be brave when I don't know what to expect. Something is going to shift. I just don't know if I'm ready for it.
Plus, it's not easy to grow in the Lord sometimes. It's really not. It's great when it happens, but it definitely takes a lot out of you. It's hard to take a long solid inward look and say "This is crap, I need this out of my life. Jesus, fix the holes!" because it means sifting through painful thoughts and facing the darkness in order to become victorious over it.
Baby steps.
The German Coast Guard
Many of you have already seen this, for those of you who haven't, enjoy! (Thanks Rachel!)
An interesting Sunday
Boy, I feel tired.
It's been one long Sunday today. It all started early this morning. I got up and went to The Meeting House this morning. It's a totally different church experience than Freedomize, and it was pretty cool. I don't know how exactly I felt about it, but it was good to get out an experience a new perspective. It was also neat to run into two people that I knew from Queen's, neither of which I have seen in a really long time. Very cool. I'm hoping the one guy, Steve, will come to visit FT.
After church, my roomie Nick and my friend Sharon and I went to the Red Room for brunch. It was really fun just to chat and be together. Though, sometimes it was a tad hard to keep up, seeing as the insults were flying to and fro between us all. Luckily, you can still tell there is a lot of love. Yeah, it was nice to have some quality time and a chance to kinda unwind after the service.
Next, I spent the afternoon with my friend Jay. We had a good chat while we were walking around on Queen West trying on a myriad of different hats and buying belt buckles (his says "Lucky Bastard" and can open beer bottles, and mine is a Wonder Woman buckle). But, I must admit, it wasn't an easy afternoon in some senses. In typical Jay fashion, he managed to pick up some crap I've been thinking about lately, and convicted me to do the right thing about it. In fact, we started (rather passionately on either side) discussion the whole Christian dating scene, which I have been really struggling to understand lately...
Mainly, I've been struggling with the idea of being hypersenstive about the whole dating scene, and wondering where the balance lies between our own actions and God's control in letting love grow. I can't help but feel that I don't know what it all means in terms of friendships and relationships...and well...yeah...I get pretty angry about it, to be frank. Something in me is so angry because of the lack of exploration or the lack of risk taking...or maybe just at the lack of...I don't know...something. Grr. (See, anger!) Although there were good points made on either side, in the end it came down to Jay making a very honest observation. Maybe all the time and energy and anger I am feeling about this issue really doesn't have anything to do with the world of dating at all. Maybe I'm just angry at the whole situation because I feel like I'm not being as honest I can with the world, and that is causing me to misplace my anger at the situation, rather than fix my own hurts...Harsh, I know, but it's probably very true.
It got me thinking. It's true, I do just that, I hide who I really am and what I'm really thinking from the world, more often than not. Well, at least when it comes to relationships with boys. I don't know that I want to sit and dissect the whole business on my blog, all I know, is yes, relationships don't come easily to me, and right now I am angry...and I think Jay is very right in pointing out that part of my anger stems from my own inability to show myself as a vulnerable person who gets hurt and who cares, and who, well, just has a hard time believing she is worthy of being loved sometimes. (Really, it isn't that destitute a thing, but these are some scars that I have and that are healing, praise God!)
Needless to say, it was a bit of a heavy afternoon. Then it was church time again. Freedomize was good, but hard as well. Lately, going to Freedomize has been really rough...I still love the church and I feel like it's my home. I just find myself being really restless in the services lately. I can't sit downstairs all the time, or I'll find myself wandering. I feel like He's trying to tell me something, but I can't always make it out. I don't know. But tonight wasn't any different. I was torn. In fact I found myself on the balcony again, this time crying and totally trying to pray away my anger from the afternoon. I just wanted to be in the service, worshipping God, not feeling crappy and angry and resentful. Sigh. It did improve, the end of the service was great, but then more anger about a different frustration crept up again, and I found myself having to leave because I was angry and upset again. Oh dear, the ups and downs...
Then in good Christian fashion, I went and drowned my frustrations in food and drink. Ha! Just kidding, well, except for the eating and drinking business. After the service, we went over to a friend's place to eat and drink and watch the Oscars. Very good. But now it's almost 1 am and I'm tired. It has been a long emotional rollercoaster of a day.
Let's just hope it's a good sleep, and this feeling of restlessness and frustration will disappear.
It's been one long Sunday today. It all started early this morning. I got up and went to The Meeting House this morning. It's a totally different church experience than Freedomize, and it was pretty cool. I don't know how exactly I felt about it, but it was good to get out an experience a new perspective. It was also neat to run into two people that I knew from Queen's, neither of which I have seen in a really long time. Very cool. I'm hoping the one guy, Steve, will come to visit FT.
After church, my roomie Nick and my friend Sharon and I went to the Red Room for brunch. It was really fun just to chat and be together. Though, sometimes it was a tad hard to keep up, seeing as the insults were flying to and fro between us all. Luckily, you can still tell there is a lot of love. Yeah, it was nice to have some quality time and a chance to kinda unwind after the service.
Next, I spent the afternoon with my friend Jay. We had a good chat while we were walking around on Queen West trying on a myriad of different hats and buying belt buckles (his says "Lucky Bastard" and can open beer bottles, and mine is a Wonder Woman buckle). But, I must admit, it wasn't an easy afternoon in some senses. In typical Jay fashion, he managed to pick up some crap I've been thinking about lately, and convicted me to do the right thing about it. In fact, we started (rather passionately on either side) discussion the whole Christian dating scene, which I have been really struggling to understand lately...
Mainly, I've been struggling with the idea of being hypersenstive about the whole dating scene, and wondering where the balance lies between our own actions and God's control in letting love grow. I can't help but feel that I don't know what it all means in terms of friendships and relationships...and well...yeah...I get pretty angry about it, to be frank. Something in me is so angry because of the lack of exploration or the lack of risk taking...or maybe just at the lack of...I don't know...something. Grr. (See, anger!) Although there were good points made on either side, in the end it came down to Jay making a very honest observation. Maybe all the time and energy and anger I am feeling about this issue really doesn't have anything to do with the world of dating at all. Maybe I'm just angry at the whole situation because I feel like I'm not being as honest I can with the world, and that is causing me to misplace my anger at the situation, rather than fix my own hurts...Harsh, I know, but it's probably very true.
It got me thinking. It's true, I do just that, I hide who I really am and what I'm really thinking from the world, more often than not. Well, at least when it comes to relationships with boys. I don't know that I want to sit and dissect the whole business on my blog, all I know, is yes, relationships don't come easily to me, and right now I am angry...and I think Jay is very right in pointing out that part of my anger stems from my own inability to show myself as a vulnerable person who gets hurt and who cares, and who, well, just has a hard time believing she is worthy of being loved sometimes. (Really, it isn't that destitute a thing, but these are some scars that I have and that are healing, praise God!)
Needless to say, it was a bit of a heavy afternoon. Then it was church time again. Freedomize was good, but hard as well. Lately, going to Freedomize has been really rough...I still love the church and I feel like it's my home. I just find myself being really restless in the services lately. I can't sit downstairs all the time, or I'll find myself wandering. I feel like He's trying to tell me something, but I can't always make it out. I don't know. But tonight wasn't any different. I was torn. In fact I found myself on the balcony again, this time crying and totally trying to pray away my anger from the afternoon. I just wanted to be in the service, worshipping God, not feeling crappy and angry and resentful. Sigh. It did improve, the end of the service was great, but then more anger about a different frustration crept up again, and I found myself having to leave because I was angry and upset again. Oh dear, the ups and downs...
Then in good Christian fashion, I went and drowned my frustrations in food and drink. Ha! Just kidding, well, except for the eating and drinking business. After the service, we went over to a friend's place to eat and drink and watch the Oscars. Very good. But now it's almost 1 am and I'm tired. It has been a long emotional rollercoaster of a day.
Let's just hope it's a good sleep, and this feeling of restlessness and frustration will disappear.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Adding to the collection...
Yesterday, someone posted on my church website about musicals, and how to get the songs out of your head. Apparently his roomie has been really into watching the new Rent movie. He wanted to know if anyone had another musical to lend to his roomate to get new songs. I, being quite the musical lover, decided to list the musicals I own to help. In doing so, I realized just how ridiculous my musical addiction is...
In fact, I will list my musical collection, at least what I can remember I own, here to give you an idea:
Movies:
Annie
A Chorus Line
The Who's Tommy
The Sound of Music
My Fair Lady
Newsies
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Grease
Grease 2
Singing in the Rain (borrowed)
Cabaret (borrowed)
Soundtracks/Music on CD:
Wicked
The Last Five Years
Song for A New World
Sunday in the Park with George
Godspell (lastest Broadway version on burned CD and old original cast on LP)
Miss Saigon (Highlights only)
The Pirates of Penzance
John and Jen
Lucky Stiff
Urinetown
Throughly Modern Millie
Hair
Aida (Elton John/Tim Rice version)
Bat Boy: The Musical
Les Miserables (10th Anniversary concert version)
The Phatom of the Opera
Bye, Bye Birdie
Crazy For You
Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat
Chicago (movie version)
Moulin Rouge (loose definition of musical)
In fact, I will list my musical collection, at least what I can remember I own, here to give you an idea:
Movies:
Annie
A Chorus Line
The Who's Tommy
The Sound of Music
My Fair Lady
Newsies
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Grease
Grease 2
Singing in the Rain (borrowed)
Cabaret (borrowed)
Soundtracks/Music on CD:
Wicked
The Last Five Years
Song for A New World
Sunday in the Park with George
Godspell (lastest Broadway version on burned CD and old original cast on LP)
Miss Saigon (Highlights only)
The Pirates of Penzance
John and Jen
Lucky Stiff
Urinetown
Throughly Modern Millie
Hair
Aida (Elton John/Tim Rice version)
Bat Boy: The Musical
Les Miserables (10th Anniversary concert version)
The Phatom of the Opera
Bye, Bye Birdie
Crazy For You
Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat
Chicago (movie version)
Moulin Rouge (loose definition of musical)
Recordings live at Queen's:
John and Jen
Lucky Stiff
Five Guys Named Moe 
City of Angels
The Rocky Horror Show
Bye Bye Birdie
Bat Boy: The Musical
Various songs from (among others):
Jekyll and Hyde
Chess
Cabaret
Five Guys Named Moe
Blood Brothers 
Guys and Dolls
Little Shop of Horrors
Man of La Mancha
Gypsy
Gigi
West Side Story
South Pacific
The Producers
The Music Man
Rent 
Funny Girl
Cats
Mamma Mia!
Kiss Me Kate
Carousel
Jesus Christ Superstar
Annie Get Your Gun
Starlight Express
I know, it's a lot! Then if it was just a little ironic trick of nature, I finally got my Amazon order last night, and what did I order? You got it: musicals! Now I can add Marry Me a Little and Starting Here, Starting Now to the collection of CDs...
And people wonder why I'm always singing. HA!
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