For my friend Jen

Here are just a few great Simpson's quotes:

Moe: I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

Kent Brockman: ... and the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Homer: You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

(This one reminded me of you! ha!)
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.

(And one of my ALL TIME FAVS!)
Homer: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!