Profound thoughts

None of these are mine, but sometimes it's just fun to collect random thought and quotes from other people. I particularly enjoy witticisms myself. Witticism of course simply being witty remarks. Here are a few fun ones that I came across lately:

"It is far better to be silent than merely to increase the quantity of bad books."
~ Voltaire ~

"The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement."
~ Edward Watson Howe ~

"Duct tape is like the Force. It has a dark side, it has a light side, and it holds the Universe together."
~ Carl Zwanig ~

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
~ Mark Twain ~

"Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognizea mistake when you make it again".
~ F. P. Jones ~

"It's not the men in my life that counts, it's the life in my men."
~ Mae West ~

"It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly."
~ Oscar Wilde ~

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
~ Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson) ~

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
~ Groucho Marx ~

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."
~ Lily Tomlin ~

"Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place."
~ Johnny Carson ~

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen andoxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vitalingredient in beer."
~ Dave Barry ~

"Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep."
~ Fran Lebowitz ~

"Americans always try to do the right thing -- after they've tried everything else."
~ Winston Churchill ~

"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house."
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor ~

"We should not permit prayer to be taken out of the schools;that's the only way most of us got through."
~ Sam Levenson ~

"I can resist everything except temptation."
~ Oscar Wilde ~