Degrassi. Live it. Love it.

Lately I've been really into watching my Degrassi Junior High Episodes. Sooo good! Really.

Here is a glimpse at how awesome it is:

Mum saves the day!

Yesterday, I was at work fretting because I had to fill out a government form. As per usual, I was asked to provide my address history for the last five years - a task that may be easy for some, but when you had three address in 2004 alone, it's tricky. So there I was trying to get this done quickly and efficiently, but having the hardest time remember the numbers of houses I lived in in 2002! Ugh! I tried Mapquest, Canada Post, Google - combinations to help me remember! I just wanted it done.

Eventually, I gave into asking for help. I called home. I asked Dad if he had my mailing address for the house I subletted a room in the summer of 2004. Was it 121 King St W in Kingston? Nope! He couldn't help. Then suddenly, through a stroke of genius, Dad to decided to check one last place: Mum's handy household phonebook. Eureka! There they were - all my known address from 2000 to 2007 written down with phone numbers. It was such a relief. One hour of work terminated in 5 minutes!

Mum, you rock!

A life gets a little more complicated...and busy.

Life is really good this week. I'm happy. I've been spending a good chunk of time feeling super productive and the other half spent with a stupid grin on my face. Oh well. That's never a bad thing.

So, what's making life so different?

1) Making some commitments - to God, to love, to many things. But I'm committing even more to being a Godly woman. And He's rewarding that! Woo!

2) Co-creating some potential projects - I'm not going into great detail yet, but there are a few ideas on the horizon! It's gonna be really cool.

3) Directing the next QPT show - Grey's Entourage. Hollywood's Been Hospitalized. The show is going up in June. The auditions are in April. Come one come all!
Check it:

4) Some potential music - with my friend Shawn. March 24th. Keep this open!

Wow. That's a lot.

I'll keep you posted.

What does your Candy heart say?

So, I came across this online. I thought I would try it in the spirit of Valentine's.

Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss"

You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship. You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you Your flirting style: friendly and sweet What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

But really, I just enjoyed making up my own:

Philosophy (a few words from Mr. Ben Folds)

go ahead you can laugh all you want

I got my philosophy

[keeps my feet on the ground]

and I trust it like the ground

that's why my philosophy

[my phil]

it keeps me walking when I'm falling down

[los-o-phy]

I see that there is evil

and I know that there is good

and the in-betweens I never understood

won't you look at me, I'm crazy,

but I get the job done

yeah, I'm crazy, but I get the job done

and I say:

go ahead you can laugh all you want

but I got my philosophy

[keeps my feet on the ground]

and I trust it like the ground

that's why my philosophy

[my phil]

it keeps me walking when I'm falling down

[los-o-phy]

Growing pains

It's days like today that I really wish I was done growing up. Realistically, that's hard to say because we're never can fully say we've finished growing. Intellectually, physically and even spiritually we should always be searching for something bigger and better. To move up, to move on, or to simply move. Heaven knows I don't want to settle or become to comfortable in life so that I can't see the next step...but sometimes it's just so damn hard.

I'm really feeling that these days. I'm in the middle of a super intense spiritual and faithful journey. One that involves me searching deep within myself to find God in all the cracks, scars and deep set wounds of my heart. This journey started over a year ago when God told me He was gonna move in my life. I remember that day so clearly. I was walking down the street from then Rachel's house (now my house) and I was thinking - about a book I'd read, about God and about life. I was thinking how great it would be to commit my life fully into the path of Jesus, and what that would mean. And suddenly I could feel God saying - "Yes, do it! I am with you and I will change your life. Just commit to me and I will change so much." And I said "ok!"

That was the first time I didn't feel scared of the final product. That product being a Godly woman. The woman I am in Christ. I am nothing if I am not that. And I was not born to be nothing.

Now I sit a year into this journey, and more and more I feel like my insides are being ripped apart. I've been through so many ups and downs. I've had laughter, I've had pain, and God's made me come out alright. He healed some surface wounds. Now He is saying that is delving deeper. Into the dark, hardened elements of my heart. The very core of my being that is scared and walled in. And He is asking me to let in the Light. And I'm scared.

Not because I don't want to be healed, but because it hurts like hell and I don't know how to show my weakness. If I do, I just won't be able to stand up. I'm afraid that God won't love me, that my friends won't love me...that I won't love me. Or simply that I will fail to change. And that's a tough challenge to face. Especially when it means doing things you don't necessarily want to do. That's the "fun" part - realizing that growing up involves the violence of choice - as in choosing something because you have to obey, because God is asking you too.

And I'm really struggling right now. I know I have to focus myself on the cross. I have to sit and beg for the right to be there, but at the same time I have to let the Light come in. I have to let God work. I have to let Him make me move. I have to lay down by still waters so He can restore my soul. And it's about discipline. And babysteps. And taking the sweet with the sour.

I just pray that I can remember that. Mostly because I just feel like screaming "Stop this pain, you bastard!" Why make me feel if you're just going to hurt me. But it's true, growing up has it pains. And His rod and staff with comfort me. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Amen to that.

Dolly-eyed.

Yesterday as I was heading to work, listening to my tunes, a Dolly Parton song came on. And it made me smile. You see, I've got a soft spot in my heart for Miss Parton and I have had once since I was a little girl. Mostly because my mother is a fan, and no family vacation was complete without a list of her favourite Dolly tapes. (Paul Simon, Chris de Burgh, Roy Orbison and Nana Mouskouri are other favs).

Dolly makes me smile. Listening to her softly lilting voice and her simple yet at times profound lyrics, I remember sitting on the floor in my house in Labrador, listening to White Limousine and staring a Dolly's huge pink nails in her cover art. I remember singing along to Slow Dancing With the Moon with my sister and mother in the car. For some reason, Dolly just keeps me smiling.

So, today, I felt inspired to share of few of my fav Dolly lyrics with you to make you smile:

Love is like a butterfly

As soft and gentle as a sigh

The multicolored moods of love are like its satin wings

Love makes your heart feel strange inside

It flutters like soft wings in flight

Love is like a butterfly, a rare and gentle thing

(From Love Is Like A Butterfly written by Dolly Parton)

I cross my heart and hope to die

I'll always be here by your side

My love grows stronger as the time goes by

Cross my heart and hope to die

And all those times we're not together

You're in my heart and you're on my mind

You're like a part of me that's missing

I cross my heart and hope to die

(From Cross My Heart written by Rachel Dennison, Randy Parton, and Frank Dycus)

It's been a long dark night

And I've been a waitin' for the morning

It's been a long hard fight

But I see a brand new day a dawning

I've been looking for the sunshine

'Cause I ain't seen it in so long

But everything's gonna work out just fine

Everything's gonna be all right

That's been all wrong

'Cause I can see the light of a clear blue morning

I can see the light of a brand new day

I can see the light of a clear blue morning

And everything's gonna be all right

It's gonna be okay

(from Light of A Clear Blue Morning written by Dolly Parton)

"The thing that's always worked for me is the fact that I look so totally artificial, but am so totally real. It gives me something to work against. I have to overcome myself. I have to prove how good I am."
— London Independent, June 2002

"Hard core" boarding

I haven't written much here in about a week - once again I had a week filled with good and bad. Luckily it was mostly good, unfortunately the really bad at the end of the week is making me feel awful...but I won't go into that here. Anyway.

Today I decided to hit the slopes with a few pals - and of course attempt to snowboard, something I've only done once before in my life over a year ago! So I borrowed some sweet sweet equipment from my friend Alison and I went.

The day was good overall - we got there in really good time, and we managed to get on the hill just before 3 pm. Of course, our first run of the day was down a much bigger hill than I was on last year and to my surprise I didn't fall down getting off the lift. Challenge number one conquered! Woo! That definately boosted my confidence. I couldn't believe it! I could actually keep myself standing and concentrate on working my toe edge. That was the first run!
Now, part of this I generally attribute to having much better equipment than the crappy rental I used last year, but obviously I learned something!

For most of the day I kept a good just above newbie pace with my friend Paulo and my new friend Sam. We pushed ourselves to go on the bigger hill and to work on the right technique. Sam was super impressive - she'd never been on a board before and was keeping up to everything going on! Wow. Paulo was working it really well too. It was good to feel like I was doing to right kinda steps (yes, not too much but still babysteps). But of course, we did end up with a few bumps and bruises. My crowning moment was when I was just getting the hand of a toe edge uphill turn around a snow bank - I was doing really well then overcompensated by putting too much pressure on the edge. I slammed foward into the snow bank, smacking my eye and leaving a mark. (See picture - and yes, that is a real scratch!) I definately looked more hard core after that!

So, yes, I had a really good day! Nearer to the end when my friends KJC and Adam finally met up with us, I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty tired and my legs were starting to rebel, but we pushed on! I got in a few more runs before we had to leave to get Sam back to Toronto to catch a bus at 10:30. Ha! We left at 8:30 and didn't think we were gonna make it - but we did, with literally 30 seconds to spare - she got the bus and it was a good end to the day.

Now I'm here, blogging, nursing/counting my bruises and I'm ready to go to bed with just enough good memories to get me through tomorrow.

Something to think about

Oh God, where are you now?
by Sufjan Stevens

oh God, hold me now
oh Lord, hold me now
there's no other man who could raise the dead
so do what you can to anoint my head

oh God, where are you now?
oh Lord, say somehow
the devil is hard on my face again
the world is a hundred to one again

would the righteous still remain?
would my body stay the same?

oh God, hold me now
oh God, touch me now
there's no other man who could save the dead
there's no other God to place our head

would the righteous still remain?
would my body stay the same?

there's no other man who could raise the dead
so do what you can to anoint my head

oh God, hold me now
oh Lord, touch me now

Holding out for a Hero

Tonight after church me a fun crew (Tim, dr/., Alannah, Adrian, and K) went out for a bite. All I really wanted was a burger - so, we decided to hit up Hero Burger at Queen and Palmerston. Such a good idea. The food was good, the gent at the counter was super helpful and we had a fun time.

I like this hero fresh from the grill.

Save Evil Dead The Musical

Go see it! My friend's Chris, Frank and George wrote it, and it's great! It's gonna close on the 17th if you don't go! Please - tell everyone!

All the Men in My Life (keep getting killed by Candarian Demons)

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I haven't felt much like posting

But I've been feeling a lot lately - it's been an emotional rollercoaster ride this week. Ups and downs at work, same in my personal life. It's like I'm trying to rub a shark the wrong way - I'm slightly confused as to what I'm doing, and sometimes it just hurts like hell (see science lesson below).

Science Lesson of the day on my favourite animal:
Did you know a shark's skin is really quite rough? It's made up a of a s a matrix of tiny, hard, tooth-like structures called dermal denticles or placoid scales. These denticles have a plate-like base supporting a main body composed of dentine with an enameloid capping and a central pulp cavity. Thing of them like curved, grooved teeth and make the skin a very tough armor with a texture like sandpaper. The apex of the denticles points toward the tail which is why a shark feels relatively smooth when stroked from head to tail, but rough when stroked in the opposite direction. These scales also help the shark swim more quickly because their streamlined shapes helps decrease the friction of the water flowing along the shark's body, by channeling it through grooves. Also, the shark's skin is so rough that contact with it can injure prey. Some people have been known to sustain cuts and injuries from being "bumped" by sharks. (Yes, I know this because I love sharks!)