Today I'm angry. And I never know how to truly productively deal with anger. Sometimes my anger scares me. Sometimes it just burts out. I don't like that. I don't like my trantrum/violent tendencies when angry. But nonetheless, I am angry.
Once again I've been hurt. I didn't want to be. I tried to protect myself but it all got jumbled in the mess of life. It's complicated. I don't know how to fix it. I almost wish I had just scraped my knee instead of letting the heart and mind get involved. Those are the hurts that scar the most.
And the anger is just salt in the wound.
I keep thinking baby steps. But the steps are the same. And I'm floundering. And I'm tired. And I don't want to hurt anymore.
But I can't run away. That's just an easy temporary fix. But are you running away when you're taking time to dust yourself off?
I just don't know.
I guess I just have to stop being afraid to get the hands dirty, pray, and be patient.
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2 comments:
"And the anger is just salt in the wound."
I know! Totally.
I never know how to deal with my anger because I'm ashamed of it and then that just makes it worse. And then you feel like you become two different people, y'know?
I def believe that the key is to release the rage into the universe by handing it to God. I just have no idea how to do that!
Felicity I am really sorry for breaking those earrings and especially sorry for not calling you about the button show.
I didn't mean to hurt you in that way.
And I Will be praying for you.
Sincerely
j
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