And the adventure begins.

There are 3 days left before my birthday. I am leaving at the crack of dawn to go to New York City with my lovely friends Sue, Lisa and Robby J. We are driving down and are going to have a HUGE adventure. I can't wait. I can't believe it's actually happening. I'm going to be in NYC for the first time since I was in grade 11. I am going to see my friend Andrei. I am going to see Evil Dead The Musical on Broadway for my Birthday.

Wicked, awesome, cool.

Impromptu Girls Night!

Thank goodness for girls. On Monday night, my friend Kate called me with a delightful proposition. After all the adventures over the last few weeks, we haven't had any real time to chat, and so she proposed and impromptu girls night. Excellent. Always a rare thing, and I was very happy to oblige. So, I met up with her after another meeting and we headed two get two very essential things: 1) a cheesy romantic comedy and 2) a bottle of wine. The movie was Just My Luck with Lindsay Lohan and the wine was a Naked Grape Chardonnay. Truly a great combination. We got a little tipsy, watched the rather silly, but quite enjoyable movie and chatted.

Thanks Kate, I needed that.

Musings of a drama queen.

Today I'm angry. And I never know how to truly productively deal with anger. Sometimes my anger scares me. Sometimes it just burts out. I don't like that. I don't like my trantrum/violent tendencies when angry. But nonetheless, I am angry.

Once again I've been hurt. I didn't want to be. I tried to protect myself but it all got jumbled in the mess of life. It's complicated. I don't know how to fix it. I almost wish I had just scraped my knee instead of letting the heart and mind get involved. Those are the hurts that scar the most.

And the anger is just salt in the wound.

I keep thinking baby steps. But the steps are the same. And I'm floundering. And I'm tired. And I don't want to hurt anymore.

But I can't run away. That's just an easy temporary fix. But are you running away when you're taking time to dust yourself off?

I just don't know.

I guess I just have to stop being afraid to get the hands dirty, pray, and be patient.

Couldn't be happier!

So it's over and done, and it was a really great show. Wicked is definately worth seeing. I am so glad that I got a chance to go. In fact, I couldn't be happier! :)

The night was just lovely. My friend and I went to dinner and then got coffee before heading over to the theatre. It was packed with excited people, and we were in a good section on the Mezzanine. And then it started, and it was great. The costumes and technical aspects were really good, and the cast did a phenomenal job. My only criticism is that it seemed a tad slow on the pick up, but once it got going, it really went. I was really impressed at how they took Gregory Maguire's book and made it work onstage. I won't go into too much detail about what happens, mostly because there are a few plot twists that are just worth waiting for. (It also explains why there is not summary in the CD cover). But yes - got see it!

Thanks again, friend. This was a truly great birthday gift.

7 more days.

Birthday countdown is still a-go-go.

More excitement!

I love it when life turns around and starts being good again. Really. This week has been much better. I went from feeling in the dregs to feeling on top of the heap. Woo! So, to add to the excitement of going to see Wicked TOMORROW, I also got an email last night from a good friend who lives in NYC. I emailed him in the desperate attempt to get his number so I can meet up with him next week when I'm going to be in town. He rarely checks his email, but I though I would try. Lo and behold a day later I got a response, and his number! Woo! And I also got a couple of lovely email recently from a friend who's in Germany and I'm so glad we've gotten back in touch! Woo!

Plus, it's FRIDAY and there are only 9 days to my birthday! Woo!

I can't sit still.

Musical obsession

I really cannot wait for Saturday. I've been listening to clips of the show from the web, and I am so excited. I've been wanting to go for ages. This is going to be awesome. Argh...I can barely contain myself today. I want to be at home cranking my CD and singing and dancing in my living room. I want to defy gravity! Woo!

p.s. 10 days to my birthday.

Best present ever!

Last night I got a really amazing early b-day present. I've got tickets to see Wicked! I can't wait. I've been wanting to go for ages! It's going to be wicked awesome cool.


Thanks friend. You rock!

Rachel's cottage: The continuing story

"Hey Felicity, wanna come entertain me on Saturday when I go to get my cottage ready to be shut down?"

It started innocently enough...

Yesterday I got "suckered" into accompanying Rachel to her cottage for part of the day so we could clean out the fridge, etc and get it ready for the winter. Really, it just means making sure you leave nothing available for the mice to have a party with. So, I agreed. There is no harm in a road trip. Our initial plan was to leave at 11 am and stay for the day and come back in the evening. Ha! Initial plan being the operative words. Because I had to get my hair cut at 11, we pushed that back to noon, and well, we were flexible. So, my hair got cut, some errands were run, and some food was eaten. In the end we left the city at 2 pm!

The ride up to the cottage was relatively uneventful except that we seemed to hit every single type of weather possible on the way there. First it was dreary cloudy weather with sun in the distance, next it was a sprinkling of rain. Then came sun, next came a downpour of rain, then came hail! Luckily Rachel drove like a pro, and inside the couch we had Ben Folds keeping us going. (Yay Song for Silverman!) Finally we pulled into the cottage safe and sound around 5 pm. It was such a contast to see the autumn leaves on the ground a bare trees, but it was lovely.

Just as I was taking in the view I suddenly here "Oh Holy Shit!" I'm thinking there can't be anything wrong now, we're safe...and then Rachel says "I forgot the keys to the cottage in Toronto!" WHAT?!?! Oh my goodness. It was almost surreal. Really funny, but surreal. We paused, and decided not to give up after our 2 hr drive. So, we get into the covered porch and check out the locked cottage door - how do we pick this? For a few minutes we played with tools, which were luckily outside, an tried to get in. Then while Rachel was on the phone to engineering/possible deliquent type friends in Toronto I decided to investigate other ways of getting in.

So, I went checked out the cabin. I tried the screen door, and thought about other windows. Then it struck me - the windows near the dining area! I ran over to Rachel and screamed "I've got a plan!" and set about my task. With a little craftiness, I managed to get the screen to come off one of the windows at the back and wanted to desperately get the window open. Luckily after a little playing, I managed to get the window to open as well. Now the next step was deciding how to get my body in - would I fit? I decided there was no better way then head first. I launched myself in. Just as this moment, Rachel came back to see my arse in the air half-way in her cottage. She laughed and said "Let me in!" And that is how we managed to start our cottage adventure.

Once we got in, we got the hot water and baseboard heaters working. Next step - a nice fire to warm the house up. I managed to get a fire lit, and we sat in our coats under blankets and decided to watch Sleepless in Seattle. Of course, at this point we were a little hungry, but didn't really feel like heading into town for dinner supplies. We were fortunate to find some frozen burger and buns among the condiments, so we decided to settle for that. (Little did I know they weren't completely frozen before Rachel defrosted them - not until she asked the next day! Oi! I swear she's trying to poison everyone!)

By this time, things were getting a little warmer in the cottage. My goal was to maintain the fire to keep us warm, but I was having some trouble. All they dry logs in the cabin were thick and were burning really slowly. I wasn't about to get a hatchet and chop them on the hearth, so I settled for trying to improvise. I managed to find a nice flat board to burn, tucked in the back. I do admit it was a little big for the fireplace, but still, it would burn. And burn it did. But in doing so it filled the cabin with smoke to such a degree we had to open the window to let cold air in and the smoke out. Oops! Of course, I didn't want to give up my piece of wood, but finally I caved to Rachel's reason. I took the lonely, burning log and threw it over the balcony into the wet leaves. And no, it did not catch on fire, but it was pretty funny.

The rest of the night was significantly better. We watched Mr. Holland's Opus, ate our not-so-poisonous burgers, and just layed low. Rachel and I had a good talk about stuff, and I also got a chance to work on a project I've been meaning to start for a while now. It was good. I managed to find some better logs to burn and built the fire up right before we crawled under tons of covers on the sofas next to the fire. And we slept.

We got up early the next morning with the intention of leaving for home early, aiming to be back around 10 or 11. We left at 9:30. We took an hour long pit stop in Barrie for coffee, dollar store goodies, and we even looked in Winners. We left the parking lot in Barrie at 11:55. We arrived at Allan Road at 12:32. Go Rachel! It was a good drive, the weather was much better, and we arrived safely. No gut rot, no overly smoked out lungs, happier and in good stead.

Thanks for a great time, Ms. Beck.

This birthday is still coming...

14 more days.

God, love and pie

Are all good.

Chugosh and I are in agreement.

:)

All I can do

This song played on the radio this morning, and I really like the lyrics:

When you're on your own
When you're at a fork in the road
You don't know which way to go
There's too many signs and arrows
You haven't laughed in a while
When you can't even fake a smile
When you feel ashamed
The uniform don't make you brave

All I can do is love you to pieces
Give you a shoulder to cry when you need it
When the day is long and the night is coming down on you
All I can do
All I can do
All I can do

The hermit emerges.

So, faithful readers, here are the lame excuses for being a bad writer these days. They are lame, but true.

1) I've been sick.
2) I've been really busy, at work especially.
3) I've been preoccupied with fixing up my house.

Side note, three weeks to my birthday, or 20 days, actually. Cool.

Rollercoaster of Love...

Once again, I am stuck thinking about love. God and love. After all this time, you'd think that I'd becoming to more of an understanding. Alas, I definately find the opposite. The more and more that I seek true love, love as intending by God, the more I find I am confused. And I'm happy and I'm sad all at the same time. It's a roller coaster.

So, of love, most of us are familiar with the following biblical definition:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rud, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delieght in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

These familiar words have been said so often that it becomes easy to forget the weight of what they really saying. What do they mean to you?

I try to stop and think about that occaisionally. In a words where loving someone or being in love seems so much more hightened an experience that what I have practically lived through myself, I wonder how we become sidetracked into viewing infatuation as love. But tonight, I don't want to dwell on that.

Tonight I want to site and think about practical Godly love. Love than may orignate as an interest or desire and has to move forward into something more. Love that is a choice, love that is a sacrifice, love that is without fear. Love that means more. How does it work?

I am absolutely convinced that loving someone takes a concious effort. You have to be able to be aware of yourself and of them, and you have to learn to be gracious, patient, and to truly love them as God intented. To follow God is a choice, so therefore, doesn't it just make sense that love should be a choice too. Yes, of course, faith does also come with emotion and being in the Spirit, but sometimes I wonder if we don't spend so much time in the emotion of faith that we forget to be practical about it. To make the same point, we do the same with love.

Those who are long term readers know that I often weigh up what love really means today. We are so wrapped up in thunderbolts and fantasy that we forget they don't last forever. Yes, you may feel that way when you first meet someone, but at some point there has to be something that keeps generating the sparks. Something more substantial. And that's where we have to start making choices.

Maybe I just need to understand practical love.

Nuit Blanche

Last night was a crazy night. The city of Toronto was a buzz of activity, even more than usual. And when the city is like that you can't just sit idle.

So I didn't.

The evening started off with going to see a play called Tiny Dinamite by Abi Morgan with my friends Blake and Galen. It's being put on by a new theatre group called Theatre Smash that some Queen's Alum and others have put together. Very cool. I happen to know the director and producer, and my good friend Kate was the assistant director. It's a really well done show, and it's still playing this week. If you get a chance, go see it. The next stop with B and Galen was a good-bye party for a girl at our church who is moving away, leaving the country. It was a fairly chill night, and there was lots of great food to sample.

Next stop: Nuit Blanche. This was an all night exhibition of contemporary art sponsored by Scotiabank. There were things to see all over the city. I started out with my pals Blake and Jam on Queen St W. Then we started meeting up with Kate, Joan and Isaac. Then it was Anton, Lisa and her brother. Then it was Elaine and Jeremy and...As you can tell, the first part of our adventuring turned out to be more about trying not to lose each other instead of really getting going. So, we decided to split up and meet back on Queen W at the Camera Bar at 3am. Good plan. Jam, Blake and I then hopped in a cab and decided to head over to check out the fun at OCAD, where we met up with Mark and Jam's cousin.

Wow, ok, so OCAD and Grange Park was covered in different activities. A giant game of Twister, games of chess, marbles and jacks. Our first stop was to see the pool of floating penguins. A very "steamy" walk through a locker room/pool area following the story of the gay penguin couple at the San Fransisco zoo. Weird. We didn't really feel there was much to the showing, so we ploughed through, and were dissapointed to see a few measley balloon penguins floating in the pool. Here the disillusionment started.

Inside the OCAD building there were several movies playing on the wall. As we were already at a point of feeling irreverent towards the art, this is where the real fun got going! We paused at this one movie - a movie with people in a building doing weird things. One shot was of someone's mouth approaching an eye, out of nowhere Blake said quite audibly "LICK IT!". Ha!And guess what? The person did! Ahaha. Next we went upstairs to another movie. This one was of a picture on a wall, where the camera kept moving closer and closer. B decided to put up his umbrella and walk across the screen. Oh my gosh! Too funny. A few moments later, Jam who was sitting with me, nudge his umbrella towards me. I had my own, but I got the message. We opened them up and walked in front of the screen also. Hilarious. Blake and Mark were killing themselves behind the scenes, the funniest part being that most people thought it was part of the show!

The hilarity continued in the "Ball room", a room filled with about 10, 000 dodge balls. It was great. We launched balls for a good 45 minutes at anyone and everyone. Such a great stress reliever and it was so fun. Especially because us crew would gang up and then try and intice someone to fight us. So good. We totally scared some people off the floor. After that B left us, and the rest of us crew headed to Camera Bar. About 20 minutes later, after fighting tooth and nail for a cab (we apparently weren't a good enough fare!) we took the street car and got to the bar just before last call. (Thanks Jam, best beer ever!) We met up with Lisa, Kim, Enoch and Anton and chilled a little. Then at almost 5:30 am we decided to head back to OCAD to see if we could get free breakfast. But not without taking another trip to the Ball Room with Colin. So much fun!

After the venture, breakfast was attempted, but it turned out to be more sad than good, and so we all respectively drifted off home, and I hit the pillow at 7am! What a night!