Ups and Downs

Today has been a weird day. Full of ups and downs.

I had a great day of working hard on my friend Karl's movie stuff and catching up with a friend. It's so nice to feel useful and creative again. I didn't realize just how much I've been needing to do theatre-type stuff until today. I just felt so alive and excited, and it was even more clear when my friend Kris pointed out how much my demeanor changed when I was talking with him about theatre stuff. Sigh. One day I'll get back to it for real.

Tonight was a different story though. My family puppy dog, Candy, has been sick for some time now. She's got arthritis and has become slightly incontinent (leaky). She's been going deaf and blind for some time now, but she deteriorating a lot more lately. Last week, Mum took her to the vet, and they suspect that she's been experiencing some pain. We all prepared ourselves with the fact that some time between now and our planned trip to Africa in October we were going to have to put Candy down. Tonight the truth of the situation became more obvious. Candy just isn't doing well. Her stomach trouble isn't getting better and she can't take her pain medication, on top of which her allergies (which cause her to swell up and need to wear a collar) are acting up. It's hard, but tonight we came to the family decision that it's not fair to her to keep her going when she's so ill. Mum is going to try and book an appointment for Candy to be put down next week. None of us could bear the thought of her continuing in pain, and spending her last month alive wearing a stupid collar.


The saddest part, I think, for me and my sister is that we won't get to see our precious little pup before she slips away. Maybe it's just for the best. I don't think I really want to let her go. She's been a part of the family for almost 14 years. It's also tough to think that Mum, the one who rescued poor Candy from the animal shelter after she was abused so long ago, will have to be the one to drop her off...alone for the most part.

We have a couple of choices: to have Candy cremated and then it all take care of, to have a private cremation and to get Candy's ashes, or something that allows us to get a paw print from Candy before she goes to remember her by. I think that's what we're going to do, at least for myself and my sister. Man...I knew this would come some day, but you're never quite prepared for it.